Our chief quango buster Quangoed!
This is Dotty, our "Chief QuangoBuster". She's fairly thick and totally unelectable but she can't see why that should keep her out of a quango - and we agree with her! This picture is copyright 1997 Alastair Macpherson, The Gallery, Drumnadrochit (All rights reserved)

Welcome to QuangoBusters! (archive of old stories)

The talented don't need quangos to shine. Only the most useless need to seek their kind of support.

Good news for the incompetent and/or unelectable:
Phone the government on 08000 274727 and tell them that you want some power but you don't want to bother standing for election (or you reckon you wouldn't get elected if you bothered to try)...they seem to like that kind of person. Our local quangos seem to be full of them! Useless, foolish and otherwise totally hopeless. The word quango sounds sleazy...it often is...watch this space...

We'll be hosting all sorts of exciting info about Scotland's unelected quangos including Quango Watch, quango profiles and performance reviews.

The word "quango" sounds funny - but far from laugh - you'll cry when you find out how many quangos we have here, how much of your money they control and how little control we seem to have over them.

This site has been born out of the ashes of poor old Urquhart Castle by Loch Ness. Another hideous quango (Hysterical, sorry "Historic", Scotland) is trying to build a monstrous new "Millennium Dome" and this website intends to be a part of the "democratising" process.

The quangos invent plenty of flashy slogans about fairness, equity, impartiality and confidentiality, but we believe that they should do more than just pay mere lip service to them. God help the quangos too, as people start using the European Convention on Human Rights to stop the kind of abuses we see going on throughout Scotland...

Believe me; we've got some big time fun coming as we bust up these unelected third rate mediocrities. And believe me, we can and we will.

If any quango bosses are out there reading this, then take a look at The European Convention on Human Rights and weep . this stuff spells the end of discrimination, violation of confidentiality and a whole host of other abuses. It marks the beginning of the end of .nod & wink. quango party-time mentality. Unelected government is a disgusting disgrace and its mandarins have no credibility whatsoever.

While we continue to develop this website, we are asking for your experiences of quangos. Please send them in. Good or bad ("good" might make a nice change!)

Or, needless to say, if you actually fancy jumping aboard the Gravy Train of unelected government in Scotland, why not phone 08000 274727 and ask the government for a leaflet? (Don't forget to tell them that you saw their number on this website - hell, they might even sponsor us!!!)

Remember: In quango land it's never to late to get your snout in a trough!

PS. Mr. Sandy Cumming (HIE's new Big Cheese): Why don't you explain to the local IT Community just why you think that ISDN investment has been such a success in the Highlands? Where is our broadband Net access coming from? Perhaps you can ask somebody from "NSA" - I am sure they will be able to help you. After all, Sandy, didn't you say you are "can do" rather than "it can't be done"? We'll see.

Quango quote of the week (thanks to Shakespeare): "Some men are born mediocre. Some men achieve mediocrity but some men have mediocrity thrust upon them.. No prizes for guessing which quango boss or bosses this applies to, because it could equally well be any of them.

Remember: If you want to "achieve mediocrity" then you can phone that number. Here it is again: 08000 274727. Are you "unelectable" (or simply can't be bothered)? Don't worry: In Scotland even the most useless, voteless incompetents can wield a wee bit of power courtesy of the quango! Look at some of pathetically sad jokes that have been absorbed into various quango boards ... and make your own mind up!

Who (as a quality person) would really wish to get involved with these sort of people? Sad incompetent losers, aren't they?! Perhaps (with some quangos) the flashy suits, flashy watches, flashy second-hand (sorry "pre-owned") cars, private number plates and "walk-the-walk, talk-the-talk" attitudes can make up for something - but none of it can really make up for much, can it?! Oh for the days of Arthur Daley and his "Minder"!

It is shocking. It is a farce. Tell us your experiences of corrupt incompetent, cronyistic quango-dom. Email today: webmaster@lochness.co.uk

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